A Tribute to my Mother

Writing these words after my mother passed away on April 8th helped me to deal with the grief and sadness. And speaking them at her memorial service made me glad I could give that gift to her, my father and my family. She lived a good life.

Words about Mom
Thank you for being here today with Dad and us, his daughters. It’s been a week of transition for everyone. We are thankful to all the support we have received from this caring community. We are grateful to the neighbors who have watched out for Mom and Dad, the medical community and the nurses at Venice Hospital, especially Sherwin who was attentive to her, and to all of us, on her last day. We met with Tidewell Hospice just a few days ago and have nothing but respect for the vital service they bring to patients and their families. We were lucky to have Lisa Hamilton, a Tidewell hospice volunteer, with us at the hospital when Mom took her last breath. Lisa is an Episcopal pastor, and gathered with us to say a peaceful prayer. Mom was in good hands and we tried our best to make her final days and hours as comfortable as we could.

It’s hard to sum up a life of 87 years. I knew her as a mother, Dad knew her as his wife, some of your were her friends. For my husband, Tom, she was a mother-in-law. She was a wife, a mother, a grandmother and a great-grandmother. Each of us has our own memories of times with Mom. I like to remember her smiles and her delight in caring for her family.

Mom might have been apprehensive about some of the things Dad called on her to do throughout their life together - like moving to England for a year and then, shortly afterwards, moving to “far-off” Australia, where I think she might have been worried about finding diapers for Lisa, her 5-month old baby daughter.

Even later, after Dad had retired from his job, and when they finally decided to make Venice their new home, she might have been tentative about the move, but she always went along with Dad’s ideas and then later found out how all of those things he asked of her, enriched her life.

I think she had the “time of her life” being married to Dad.

Mom was always a hard worker. I remember when Tom and I moved into our first house and she and Dad came to help. I was so tired but she wouldn’t let me go to sleep until we had unpacked all the kitchen boxes and put everything into the cabinets. She liked for everything to be orderly, and put in it’s right place. Louise and Lisa, I think you would agree that those are traits we also share.

Growing up, we could always count on Mom to be there when we needed her. When we’d go skiing as a family Dad would get us out on the slopes, but Mom would find the best table in the ski lodge and set up a base there with the picnic basket. She’d keep busy with her knitting and talking to people and then when we’d come inside for lunch or a hot chocolate, she’d be there saving our places at the table. And if you’ve ever been inside a ski lodge in Vermont at lunch time you’d know how hard it is to find a table with enough chairs for all your friends and family!

Mom like sharing with us the things she and Dad would do and the places they would go. But she always wanted for Dad to tell the story. I think she liked to listen to his voice.

In these days of people not knowing how to sew, I am grateful that Mom was always sewing or knitting, or making something because it set an example for us and we can do all of those things, and value knowing how. Well, Mom could never teach me to knit because I am left handed and she isn’t. Her hands were always so quick with the knitting needles and she’d have this method of wrapping the yarn over and around her fingers and I just couldn’t figure it out because she could never do it slow enough for me to follow. Well, anyway, I did learn how to knit but maybe I just figured it out on my own.

Mom always liked things to be “proper,” a trait she must have gotten from her father, who was a caterer. She would tell us how he always knew the “right” way to do things - especially when it came to table manners and knowing which fork to use.

Mom did a great job raising her family and being a devoted wife to Dad. We always knew we were loved.

I’ve asked Dad if he thinks about his mother a lot and he says he does. How can any of us not think of our mothers? They are a part of us. And we are a part of them.

We will miss her, but her memory is with us, and with you, and that is a part of her that will last throughout our lifetimes.